10 Tips for Approaching Single Women

What do you do when you see a woman you are attracted to? Do you run and hide? Do you use some canned line that you read on the Internet? Do you stand there in fear trying to think of the right thing to say? What is the right thing to do?
When approaching a woman, most guys make the mistake of thinking too much about what to say. They believe there's one magic line that will work in all situations. They rehearse this magic line, and when they deliver it, they hope the woman will become instantly attracted to them.
Unfortunately, rarely does this approach work -- because most of what you say is irrelevant. To catch a woman's attention, it is all about the confidence you display when approaching her.
Here are 10 surefire ways to intrigue her every time:
1. Observe something. Make a comment about something you observe in the environment. This is especially effective at the grocery store. For example, if she is ordering a turkey sandwich, ask her if the turkey is good here.
Make your comment immediate to the situation and it will seem perfectly natural. No matter where you are, there is always something interesting to comment on.
2. Smile. This shows her that you are friendly and confident. A genuine smile not only feels good to you, but will put her at ease while creating openness in the interaction -- a requirement for building rapport.
3. Do not hesitate. If you hesitate in your approach, this tells her that you are not feeling confident -- an immediate turn-off. When you see her, walk over to her within a short period of time (the three-second rule). Show her you are a man who knows what he wants and goes after it.
4. Positive body language. If you approach hunched over with your head down, you are sending negative information about yourself, which makes you dead in the water before you begin. Stand up straight, with shoulders back and chest out, and use a firm yet relaxed walk.
5. Not too fast. If you walk over too fast, you could likely trigger her internal alarm. A calm, casual approach is usually the best way to make her feel at ease with you.
6. Keep eye contact. Never be the first to break eye contact when you approach. If you do, this sends the message that you are not feeling good about approaching. When you use strong eye contact, she will feel more drawn to you. With practice, you can master this.
7. Listen up. Make sure you pay careful attention to what she says. Do not have your response pre-thought out. Women love a man who pays attention to the details of what she says. If you start throwing out random words, she will lose interest fast.
8. Do not fidget. Fidgeting after you approach is distracting and shows you are uncomfortable. If you communicate that you are uncomfortable, she will feel uncomfortable, too, and will close up. Practice being aware of your movements. Pay attention to those movements, or lack of movements, that communicate comfort and confidence.
9. Lighten your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is a very powerful tool. Approaching her in a light and playful tone is one of the best ways to start. You could also begin in a serious tone, accusing her of something like " I hope you saved some turkey for me," followed by a quick smile to let her know you are joking. Practice playing with your vocal tone with your friends -- notice the different reactions you get when you say the exact same thing using varied tones and fluctuations.
10. Lean away from her. A man who leans in too far when he talks often makes a woman feel crowded. A better approach is to lean away from her slightly. This lets her know that you respect her space, boundaries, and are comfortable with yourself.
The key to making these tips work for you is putting them into practice! Practice these tips and see the reaction you get. When you put them all together, you will be surprised at their power.

Dating Rules: The Do's and Don'ts of Snooping

Maybe you don't think of it as "snooping," but if you've investigated online about your blind date, rifled through a boyfriend's sock drawer, or peeked at his email after he accidentally left it open, you've officially snooped. The good news? You've got company: 83 percent of glamour.com readers copped to snooping. So right or wrong, since most of us are doing it, we wanted to share some ground rules for all you dating singles -- you know, to keep you out of trouble.
#1: DO consider just asking
Most guys don't volunteer details about their personal business so freely, but not necessarily because they have something to hide. "We think differently -- we don't want to know about your ex, so it doesn't occur to us that you'd want to hear about ours," says John, 27. If you're curious, ask.
#2: DON'T jump to conclusions
Monique, 33, learned this lesson the hard way. "My boyfriend's phone started ringing off the hook in the middle of the night," she says. "He said he didn't recognize the number, but I didn't believe him. So when he went to the bathroom, I called back the number, and it went straight to a woman named Alayna's voice mail. The next time the phone rang, I grabbed it from him, and with tons of 'tude demanded to know who it was. Turns out it was his cousin, whom we call Minty but whose real name is Alayna. She was calling because her car had broken down near us. Oops!"
#3: DO routine background checks before a first date
It's not a crime to do a quick Yahoo! search or Facebook review to find out about a new man. Stephanie, 35, met a cute guy at a party and gave him her number. Smart lady that she is, before returning the voice mail he left asking her out, she looked him up online and discovered he was more than 10 years her junior and an intern in the same industry. "I was horrified," she says, "but so happy I didn't waste an entire night out going out with him."
#4: DON'T think snooping is actually going to help you develop a meaningful relationship
It takes time and communication to build intimacy. You can't do it by reading his email. Plus, part of the fun of dating someone is discovering more about him through shared experiences. Melanie, 29, did a little cyberstalking and found out a bit too much. "He seemed like everything I wanted," she says. "The problem was that when we went out, I already knew everything he was trying to tell me about himself. What could have been fun felt like watching a rerun."
#5: DON'T cross the (legal) line
If you steal his Social Security number to figure out his financials or break into his apartment to find out if he's cheating, you are breaking more than his trust -- and you could end up in prison.
#6: DON'T tamper with the evidence
If you maybe, kinda, sorta checked his voice mail and discovered a message from his ex, do not, repeat, do not hit "delete." And if you stumble across a cute photo of him as a baby, don't pocket it.
#7: DO make sure you're ready to face what you find
Remember, Sherlock, there's a reason people say ignorance is bliss. Do you really want to know if his ex could be mistaken for Angelina Jolie? Or which celebrities he obsesses over? Megan, 32, began to have regrets after she opened up the Web browser on her guy's computer and found photos of the actresses from the TV series "Charmed." "I was shocked more than anything, because who has deep fantasies about 'Charmed?'" she says. There are some things you just don't need to know.

3 Keys to Meeting Single Women

Most men think there's a magic word they can say to get a woman to talk to them. While there is no such "magic word," there are three keys to communicating with a woman that work every single time.

This is not earth-shattering stuff. What I'm about to suggest to you is a simple approach that has worked every single time I or one of my students have used it.

Here are the three simple steps to communicating with a woman:

Step 1: Observe What She Is Doing. Take the example of a woman standing behind you in line at the supermarket unloading her groceries. What is she putting on the conveyor belt? If she's behind you in line at Starbucks, what is she ordering? What is she eating?

Notice everything she's doing. Let the environment give you something to say. Most guys think of something to say that's so random it makes absolutely no sense in a woman's mind. Women actually make fun of these guys and say, "You won't believe what he actually came over and said to me."

Step 2: Act on the Observation. In order to properly act upon the observation, you need to open her up and evoke a feeling. For instance, if a woman is ordering a double espresso, the thing to talk about is usually the first thing that comes to your mind.

A typical guy might say, "Do you like coffee?" which leads to a yes or no answer. A man who is 100 percent present will look at her and say, "Rough night last night?" or "Busy day ahead?" What you're trying to do is stay inside her head and remain in her current thought process.

It's much easier to have a conversation based upon things she's already experiencing. A woman will share something that's already going on in her head.

Another example: you're standing at a bar and see a woman ferociously texting someone while standing there by herself. You can walk over and make an assumption like "Is your friend late?" This will in turn open up a conversation based upon feelings and emotions.

Women are emotional creatures. They want to bond with you emotionally. They don't want to bond with you randomly. This leads us to Step 3.

Step 3: Listen to What She Has to Say. In order to have good conversation and bond with a woman, you need to listen to what she says. If you listen to her, you will know what to say next. It's called a conversation for a reason.

A lot of men always think about what to say next, or they have a script in their head about what to say next. That's not a conversation -- that's a bad screenplay.

For example, I was standing with a couple of clients on a corner in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. There was a woman standing there by herself with a suitcase, obviously waiting for someone to pick her up for a weekend getaway. So what did these two guys do? They observed and they asked her:

Guys: "So where are you going?"

Girl: "New Jersey."

Immediately one of them says, "New Jersey? I'm from Tampa."

That's not a conversation. That is a guy changing the subject to talk about himself. He doesn't care about her right off the bat. The correct thing to say in this situation is this:

Guy: "Where in Jersey are you going?"

Girl: "The shore for the weekend."

Now, in turn, the two guys can keep her present in her head about the weekend and ask her about her trip.

Guys: "Which beach?" or "Wow, how long are you staying there?"

If they listen and stop thinking about how to amuse her by telling her they're from Tampa, they'll actually connect with her and have a conversation about the shore, vacations -- and who knows where the conversation might go.

Men complicate things for no reason. There are no magic lines that you can say, but in reality if men just talked to women like they talk to their closest friends, they would have amazing conversations. Men just need to relax and listen to what women are saying.

Do this and you're going to have great conversations. It's that simple! Get out of the house, observe, react and listen!

How to Handle Rejection

So there you are at the deli getting a ham sandwich, when that person you're attracted to comes and stands next to you at the counter. You've seen them over and over again, and you finally have the guts to turn and smile at them... and they do nothing in return. They almost look right through you like you don't exist.

So you grab your ham sandwich and run out of there as quickly as you can, saying to yourself, "I will never do that again. This doesn't work." Is this the best way to deal with rejection? How do you personally deal with rejection? More importantly, are you someone who believes that if you become "good" at dating you will no longer get rejected?

The dating truth is that being able to deal with rejection is the key to being successful at going out and meeting singles. It's also not the ultra-significant event so many make it out to be. So here are five essential tips on how to handle rejection, which you need to embrace if you are going to have a full and successful dating life:

1. Change Your Dating Expectations. One of the first and most important things to understand is that no matter what you do, not everybody is going to respond positively to you. Not everyone you smile at will smile back at you. Not everyone you say hello to is going to say hello back to you.
Stop expecting a positive response 100% of the time. Just because somebody did not smile back at you does not mean that you're not an attractive person or that you made a mistake by smiling. The only thing it means is that it did not work with that one person.

2. Life Is All About Rejection. Everything in life has rejection involved in it. If you're a salesperson who makes 10 sales calls, you may only get one or two people to say yes. A baseball player whose batting average is around 300 will likely end up in the Hall of Fame. A quarterback who can complete 55 percent of his passes is doing pretty well. Everything in life is about percentages. You don't quit simply because you experienced some rejection. Imagine if you stopped looking for work when your very first interview didn't result in a job offer. That would, of course, be ridiculous. Remember that you also need to keep going in your dating life when you're rejected, because you want to keep increasing your odds of success.

3. Focus on Increasing Your Dating Odds. When you feel like you are getting more than your fair share of rejections, instead of focusing on those rejections, focus on increasing your odds of success. The fact is that by playing the percentages as I mentioned above, you will be successful. The reason is that every time you take action -- every time you smile, say hello, or walk over and initiate a conversation -- you get better at it. If you're going to go out there and only talk to one person a day, then your chances of success are not going to be great. Increase your odds every single day and in everything you're doing.

4. Keep Things in Perspective. I hear some version of this from clients all the time: "What if I approach somebody, get rejected, and someone sees me? I'll never be able to go in that store again!" Get a little perspective here. Let me tell you something -- you're not front page news! When you're rejected, you need to just get over it. No one is talking about you. People are concerned about themselves and what is going on in their own lives, just as you are focused on what's going on in yours. So the fact that you get rejected in front of other people at the market, at the gym, or anywhere else is not a big deal to anyone but you.

5. Don't Overreact When Dating. The other thing I commonly hear from clients who have been rejected is some version of this: "I'm never going to talk to that person ever again now that I was rejected by them." This is not only a total overreaction, it is also absolutely the wrong thing to do. So you tried to talk to (or smile or look at) someone, and they didn't respond. As I mentioned above, there are a million possible reasons why that person did not respond to you. It doesn't necessarily mean that person wouldn't want to talk to you another time. If I smile at a woman and she doesn't respond, I don't play hide-and-go-seek the next time I see her. I am equally friendly to her the next time I see her, because you never know what will happen that second time. It's a different day. Put the last time behind you.

These are some ways to help you get over rejection. Realize that in order to get good at interacting with potential mates, you are going to get rejected. In fact, you want to get rejected every single day, because if you're not, it means you're not trying.

So ask yourself this: Did you get rejected today, and how can you go out tomorrow and make it an even better day than today? Learn to not only handle but to embrace rejection, and you will meet great new people and have an amazing social life.

10 Tips for Approaching Single Women

What do you do when you see a woman you are attracted to? Do you run and hide? Do you use some canned line that you read on the Internet? Do you stand there in fear trying to think of the right thing to say? What is the right thing to do?

When approaching a woman, most guys make the mistake of thinking too much about what to say. They believe there's one magic line that will work in all situations. They rehearse this magic line, and when they deliver it, they hope the woman will become instantly attracted to them.

Unfortunately, rarely does this approach work -- because most of what you say is irrelevant. To catch a woman's attention, it is all about the confidence you display when approaching her.

Here are 10 surefire ways to intrigue her every time:

1. Observe something. Make a comment about something you observe in the environment. This is especially effective at the grocery store. For example, if she is ordering a turkey sandwich, ask her if the turkey is good here.
Make your comment immediate to the situation and it will seem perfectly natural. No matter where you are, there is always something interesting to comment on.

2. Smile. This shows her that you are friendly and confident. A genuine smile not only feels good to you, but will put her at ease while creating openness in the interaction -- a requirement for building rapport.

3. Do not hesitate. If you hesitate in your approach, this tells her that you are not feeling confident -- an immediate turn-off. When you see her, walk over to her within a short period of time (the three-second rule). Show her you are a man who knows what he wants and goes after it.

4. Positive body language. If you approach hunched over with your head down, you are sending negative information about yourself, which makes you dead in the water before you begin. Stand up straight, with shoulders back and chest out, and use a firm yet relaxed walk.

5. Not too fast. If you walk over too fast, you could likely trigger her internal alarm. A calm, casual approach is usually the best way to make her feel at ease with you.

6. Keep eye contact. Never be the first to break eye contact when you approach. If you do, this sends the message that you are not feeling good about approaching. When you use strong eye contact, she will feel more drawn to you. With practice, you can master this.

7. Listen up. Make sure you pay careful attention to what she says. Do not have your response pre-thought out. Women love a man who pays attention to the details of what she says. If you start throwing out random words, she will lose interest fast.

8. Do not fidget. Fidgeting after you approach is distracting and shows you are uncomfortable. If you communicate that you are uncomfortable, she will feel uncomfortable, too, and will close up. Practice being aware of your movements. Pay attention to those movements, or lack of movements, that communicate comfort and confidence.

9. Lighten your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is a very powerful tool. Approaching her in a light and playful tone is one of the best ways to start. You could also begin in a serious tone, accusing her of something like " I hope you saved some turkey for me," followed by a quick smile to let her know you are joking. Practice playing with your vocal tone with your friends -- notice the different reactions you get when you say the exact same thing using varied tones and fluctuations.

10. Lean away from her. A man who leans in too far when he talks often makes a woman feel crowded. A better approach is to lean away from her slightly. This lets her know that you respect her space, boundaries, and are comfortable with yourself.

The key to making these tips work for you is putting them into practice! Practice these tips and see the reaction you get. When you put them all together, you will be surprised at their power.

Advance From Friend to Boyfriend

An interesting dating topic that always seems to come across my desk involves guys who have female friends they want to date. I get all versions of this dating question: "How do I get out of the friend zone and into the boyfriend zone?"

This topic is especially interesting to me right now because I am currently dating a woman with whom I started out being just friends. When I first met her, she was actually dating somebody else.

So how did I go from the friend zone to the boyfriend zone? Did I subliminally do some mind tricks to convince her that dating me would be a far better experience than the one she was having with her boyfriend? Absolutely not. What I did was I got to know her to get into the boyfriend zone.

Here are four tips to help you get a woman to look at you in a different way:

1. Don't sell yourself. If you meet and become friends with a woman who has a boyfriend, don't sell yourself to her at all. Get to know her over a period of time. If a woman is attracted to you as a person, she could become attracted to you as a significant other. It all depends on where she is in her life.
   We all know that many relationships tend to "go south" and end. The problem is that a lot of single men will meet a woman who is in a relationship and decide not to befriend her at all. I'm not suggesting that you become the shoulder she comes to cry on when things are going wrong with her boyfriend. But you can get to know her as a person, because you never know where life may lead you down the road. So don't be a salesman, and don't berate her boyfriend. Be yourself. Have a good time with her, and see if natural chemistry develops between you. When you are genuine and take the time to get to know her as a person, she might start to look at you in a different light and end her relationship.

2.Don't be afraid to express yourself.If you have already been friends for along time and she's never thought about you in a romantic way, there's a good chance she'll never think of you romantically. The way so many guys get themselves into the eternal friend zone is that they play it too safe when they first meet a woman They act in a very passive-aggressive way toward her. They are so afraid of expressing any indication of their romantic interest that they go out of their way not to express any feelings toward her at all. For example, instead of really asking the woman out on a date, they ask her to hang out in a group. You will always end up in the friend zone in this situation, because you have never asked her out on a real date. If you're interested in a woman, you need to ask her out so it's clear to her that you are interested
3. Be patient. Stop thinking about immediate gratification all the time. Not every woman you meet today is going to want to go out with you tonight. Think of befriending women as building a portfolio of interesting people with whom you can get together in the future. You need to treat the single women you meet as long-term investments. Just enjoy getting to know her as a person right now, because you never know what may happen. Chemistry just might spark between the two of you.

4. Be direct. Don't ever ask a woman's friends to tell you about what she is thinking, and in particular do not ask them what she thinks about you. If you've got a crush on a female friend of yours, you need to call her and say, "You know what? I want to go out with you. You and I need to hang out alone." Make it clear to her that you want to go out on a date with her. It doesn't matter if she says yes or if she says no. It just matters that you take the chance.
   You will define the relationship one way or another, and then you can move forward.

Dating takes a lot of patience and perseverance. The best things in life, in fact, tend to pay off when you have patience and perseverance. No one is ever completely successful the first time they do something.

So start being willing to take your time. Take time to look at all the single women you've met in your life, and think about whether any of them stick out as being someone you'd like to get to know again. Perhaps she's someone you became friends with when you first met. Send her a text or call her on the phone. Who knows? She might be more receptive to you the second time around.